EXPLAINING MARX - J.G.

By Josefo Marxengel

The worst thing for an intellectual like me is having to explain, and prove, how much is one plus one. Everyone knows the result, but there is always a conservative who does not believe. Well, I will explain the book of our dear Marx, "The Capital", the best book ever written, along with Dona Benta's recipes and the TV guide.

First, I wanted to separate those who understand economics from those who read the Jornal do Comércio, as does The Moralist. What is cost? Production? Salary? Money? Offer? Price? Value? Bargain? Cash? Default? Thiefs? I caught all of these are common terms that economists should know by heart, and not just, as lay people think, of keeping coins in the piggy bank.

Marx, this genius misunderstood by the sneers, explained that, when production is increased, wages must also be increased proportionally. Wrong, rascals. The increase must be higher than wages than output. For those who work, deserve to be awarded. Karl's contemporary economists, such as Uncle Patinhas and Chris Rock's father, argued that, over time, there would be no more production, only wages, and everything would be happy forever. Capitalists, however, say that this is a theory.

From here comes the fallacies: Stalin here, North Korea there, genocides, fallacies. You see, you bastards, I'll explain what the theory is and how it should be practiced.

Marx, the supreme being of the popular strata of the nobility, said that the worker sells his soul to the capita, I say, capitalist, for the value proportional to his production. Suppose: if a horse eats a ton of corn for breakfast, that should be enough to carry a ton of people on its back if the tailor worked 14 hours of his day at the canning factory. Whereas if the coffee producer generates jobs for a dozen workers who in return use the money to buy the same coffee produced by them, for caffeine is a Satanic vice, it would be like exchanging six for a half dozen and finding that it was three plus three. Although it seems simple, the concept of "value" and "raw material" is lost amid the added value, a concept normally used when we go to the fair and we get only what is not in the promotion.

Mathematically, Marx wanted to demonstrate that the factorial of supply and demand is the product of the sum of two terms, raised to the line integral of the labor force, divided by the root of the commodity produced by the derivative of the logarithm of money times the cost and demand less the material used in production and the union tax. Did you see? Without the union tax, we would be nothing.

There is much to debate about the real value of work. And of course I have the property to talk about work. Only the one who observes knows. That's why one plus one equals three.